Life~living~learning Archives ~ Not Good At Normal

December 8, 2024December 8, 2024

Influencers…A New Thing?

Think influencers are as new as Social Media? Think again!

You think the Kardashians started the influencer crazy? Social media as the downfall of our young people? Fads of following the famous?

Long before Instagram and TikTok, the internet and social media, before filters and photoshop twisted our vision of ideal and unattainable beauty, there were real celebrities. Movie stars and before them, the drawings in newspapers of ‘the ideal women’.

Ideal Woman

Long before movie stars even had names and vaudeville had its favorites, there was the ‘Gibson Girl’, the Coca Cola Girl and the Biograph Girl and Vitagraph Girl.

The Gibson Girl, was the ideal woman, She was active, progressive, attractive and yet the ultimate feminine female. First appearing in magazines and newspapers such as Life and Harper’s Weekly in the 1890’s. The Gibson Girl is said to be based on Camille Clifford.

The Biograph Girl was Florence Lawrence, who was one of the first named motion picture stars. The other was Florence Turner, the Vitagraph Girl, who when making appearances would hand out personalized photos

The Best Foot Forward

Hollywood soon followed. The actress Joan Crawford never left her apartment without full makeup and glamor because as she said “People expect to see a movie star”!

The It Girl, Clara Bow, an early influencer

Known as the Femme Fatale, Veronica Lake

Mary Pickford was the girl with the curls. Everyone wanted to look like her. There was the waif or waifish, Lillian Gish, The It Girl, Clara Bow (also a flapper). In the 1940’s everyone wanted the Veronica Lake hair. Marilyn Monroe, Twiggy in the 60’s, Farrah Fawcett in the 70’s

Influencers are nothing new, most Hollywood stars would appear in advertisements for beauty products. These women embodied the idealized, perfect woman, what woman should strive to be.

The beauty industry has long been a major contributor of the decline of the mental health of women. Using our favorite stars to hawk beauty products, making women, younger and younger, feel worse and worse about ourselves. Even young girls are scared to get old. Anti-age this, and stop aging that. Why do we hate old(er) woman or getting old??

One of my personal favorites, Judy Garland

As Lucy Moore states in her book “Anything Goes, A Biography of the Roaring Twenties” it was during the 20’s when psychology and research was used. Cigarette ads like Lucky Strikes were linked to female emancipation. Smoking meant freedom. And dying your hair and wearing lipstick wasn’t just for “the fallen woman”.

It wasn’t until the 1980’s where girls began to form their own individuality. Madonna, Cyndi Lauper and Grace Slick. But even then, girls wanted to just like them!

Even today, in the “Everyone and everybody is beautiful, big is in, all bodies are beautiful age, we still see ‘use this face cream to stop wrinkles’ ‘look younger and more youthful’ use this hair dye.. Older women aren’t supposed to be sexy. Yet the messages are still be you, be authentic, just do it while using this product, everyone does! Its the standard of beauty you too can attain. Only you can’t.

This ad came out around the time the movie “How To Marry A Millionaire” was released.

Social Media

Influencers/Youtubers/ Creators/Tictokers and so called social media celebrities, what a load of crap. They are paid highly to get you to believe what they post is reality. Filters and photoshop so much, if you saw them in real life you wouldn’t even think it was the same person!

Snake Oil

Years ago they were called Snake Oil Salesmen. People who would travel from town to town selling their goods…’Look younger and attract a mate, look darker, look lighter. Make your skin glow.’ They would be run out of town for selling lies.

Lasting effects

The ads and media scrolling doesn’t just affect women and girls, men and boys see this and think that is what women should be. How they should act and dress. They have an unnatural idea that they will find a woman or girl like that and when they don’t, they wonder why or keep leaving to go find her.

This goes back far beyond the printed advertising, even ghost signs, telling woman they are not enough as is, be sexier if, whiten your teeth, erase your wrinkles, use this corset, wear this wig, this product,that product.. be the happy housewife…. and on and on. Only now ad fillers, botox, boob jobs, laser peels, ect.

A happy housewife! Both ads have the woman in heels and skirt!

Watch out!

Do you follow or buy something just because your fave star/celebrity or ‘influencer is using it?

Snake oil salesmen are still out there, they just use filters.

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March 16, 2021March 20, 2021

Extraordinary Women: A Brief History of St. Louis Women

St. Louis: The Gateway to the West

St. Louis may be known as the gateway to the west or the beer capital of America, but the history of the area is much richer and more interesting. While there are extraordinary women all throughout history, when looking at the whole picture, some amazing women stand out. Doing research for this blog, gathering information from various sources and my own knowledge, it became clear: There really is no written history of the contributions of women to our great city.

First Mayor

Via City of St. Louis~ Honorable Mayor Lyda Krewson.

It was not until 2017 that St. Louis elected its first mayor, Lyda Krewson. Who is not running for reelection. It was 2020 before the first woman was elected for United States Congress to represent St. Louis for the state, Rep. Cori Bush. In 2021 a new mayor will be elected and she too will be a woman.

Sure there are a handful of well known women who were born in or call St. Louis home, even if for a little while. The dancer Josephine Baker, singer Tina Turner, Maya Angelou and Betty Grable to name a few. But a deep dive was needed to uncover those who helped shape the city. Even the state of Missouri, as there isn’t enough info on women of St. Louis alone. So we will discuss those that we found that had a lasting impact.

A Most Extraordinary Woman

As far back as the 1700’s we have three women who owned property. Not just any women either. Free women of color in French colonial times in the area while under the French and Spanish laws. This was at a time when most women could not own property unless they were married. Not much else is know about Ester, Franiose and Jeannette, but its important to add them. They couldn’t vote or have many other rights, but owning land was not common.

Early suffragette, Virginia Minor, while living in St. Louis, was an officer in the National Woman’s Suffrage Association. During the presidential election of 1872, Minor went to register to vote and was refused by a ward registar. She and her husband sued him( Minor v. Happersett) Virginia started the movement in St. Louis and helped found the Women’s Suffrage Association of Missouri. Thus a full two years before Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Susan B. Anthony started the National Woman’s Suffrage Association.

Virginia Louisa Minor, an extraordinary woman.

Virginia Minor’s case was based on the 14th amendment. The amendment that stated “no state shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States, nor shall any state deprive any person of life, liberty or property without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws”. ~this meaning All persons born in the United states, were not to be denied the rights given to them as citizens. ALL Persons and that is where she hung her hat. She was a person, She was born in the United States and She was being denied the right to register to vote. In Missouri, as in many other states at the time, women could not own property in their name, nor could they file a lawsuit, or be counted as a person or vote.. Legally, women were treated as property or as children. One lawmaker even said Women were dead to the law. SIDEBAR(see end for Evil Hospital)

As luck would have it…

Virginia was married to a lawyer. It was both Virginia and her husband Francis that took the suit to the U.S. Supreme Court. The lawsuit was thrown out as having no merit based on the assumption that the 14th amendment did not state voting as a right of citizenship. This did not stop Virginia. She would later not pay her taxes because, being a woman, she was counted as a ‘femme covert’ legal doctrine, meaning she could not own money, so legally, she did not have to pay taxes. The MO legislature, being held by all men, did not rule in her favor. Curiously because, it was by law her husband’s money, but she was held liable for it! Nothing like hypocrisy of men and politicians. Virginia Minor did not live to see Missouri become the 11th state to ratify the 19th amendment.

Other well known women

Susan Blow opened and ran the first public kindergarten in 1873. As a child, her home on the Mississippi riverfront was burned in the great fire and she lived through the cholera epidemic.

“If we can make children love intellectual effort, we shall prolong habits of study beyond school years”.

Harriet Woods became the first Lt. Governor in 1984, after getting her start in local politics. Jean Carnahan was elected the first female U.S Senator. Phoebe Couzins was the first US Marshal and the second female lawyer in the country, her mother, Adeline was an early suffragette. Margaret Bush Wilson was a lawyer and civil rights activist and the second person of color to practice law in Missouri. Virginia Masters, Sheryl Crow, Sara Evans, Rose O’Neal(illustrator of Kewpie dolls + suffragette), Jean Harlow, Phyllis Diller, Joyce Meyer and many more from the great state and everyday extraordinary women.

The Social Evil

When I first learned about this hospital, I thought it a joke. It was on a map I was researching for breweries in STL. In 1870, the boards of Health and St. Louis Police Commissioners initiated the Social Evil ordinance in an effort control and regulate prostitution. Taxing the brothels and women. Police were to visit brothels with a doctor to test and identify those infected with diseases and were then sent to the city hospital. When that proved to much, they established a separate hospital for prostitutes and a house of industry where they could be trained in vocational skills. This was called the Social Evil Hospital which opened in 1872. It soon became the Female Hospital for women and the training part closed. Evil women…how about curing the men from straying from their wives? In 1864 in England a similar experiment took place where women were tested for STD and locked away in ‘The Lock’ hospitals. Thus being why this experiment failed. The site of the hospital is now a park.

All through history, women are the ones expected to change, to get along. Not to speak out or not to walk alone at night, change our behaviour and men will not need to change theirs. We need More extraordinary women to keep up the right for equality. Remember, the Equal Rights Amendment has still not been ratified by all states needed to make it into law!?! Crazy right, 2021 and women do not have, by law, equal protection.(MO not one of the states to ratify). What are your thoughts? Who is a woman in MO history or history in general that you find extraordinary? Leave a comment.Video coming soon.

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February 11, 2021February 11, 2021

Road Trips and Photo Tips!

How to get the most memorable photos while traveling.

ghost sign on wall — Faded ghost sign on brick wall with flowers, note the framing
hides the car. By getting down level with the foreground object
you can get a better shot and composition to add a more pleasing photo.

Taking road trips can be a fun way to explore. Trying to get the most memorable photos?Traveling by car allows for greater freedom to not only stop and see more, but also allows for more photo taking opportunities! Here are a few photo tips to get the most out of your road trip whether it is a short trip down the road, to the next town or across the states.

Try for a different angle, not straight on from the front for a different look to an oft photographed subject. The Old Cathedral, St. Louis, MO.

There maybe time when you may have to go back to get a better photo, when there are less people around or less traffic. Maybe the sun is less harsh or setting. Take more angles and more pictures so you come away with at least one ‘keeper’. The sun is most harsh at noon, with the most shadows. You may want to get up early one day to catch a great sunrise photo or stay out and get a stunning sunset picture.

While on your road trip, it is important to make time in your schedule for exploring. You may find an exciting, overlooked area. These road trip photo tips are useful even around your own town. Just today I was on a road I travel often and noticed something new to me. Keeping your ‘eyes open’ and looking all around you can really pay off.

Found this mural today on the side of a business I pass frequently and never
noticed. Yes, I stopped in the rain and got wet!

Timing is everything

Sometimes you may have to wait for people or cars to move for the perfect picture, other times you have to get creative! Like when you are at a busy festival or at a national monument. A kids soccer game or just at the local produce stand. Now days everyone stops to get a picture of just about anything! I love to find ghost signs, old advertising left behind from a lost era. If I have time, I drive around the city looking for them, but many times, I have to go back at a time when there isn’t as many people or cars around.

Timed so no cars or people or other impediments were in the way of this architectural
photo.

Use a different vantage point so an oft photographed
spot comes out unique.

Sometimes you need to enlist a helper for your photos,
but with direction, they can turn out the way you want.
The Mural Mile in downtown St. Louis in the summer is
very busy, but a sunset timed photo works with minimal
interference. Also makes for a more interesting visual picture.

The best time to take the best pictures depends on what it is that you want to accomplish. Do your research and look around, ask locals and have fun! Drop a comment or a cool photo of your last road trip and any photo tips you may have!

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December 8, 2020February 13, 2021

Hollywood by today’s standards

How Hedy Lamarr and the Metoo movement collide.

Hedy Lamarr was almost the most important inventor time forgot. Let’s remember a time, not so long ago when Hollywood and the world, i.e. men, didn’t give credit to women for being smart, or for anything for that matter.

Coming to America

image via MGM pictures: Hedy Lamarr in the MGM classic “Ziegfeld Girl” in the famous star costume.

In 1937 Hedwig Eva Maria Kiesler came to America from Vienna, Austria, her birthplace. She had starred in a few films, one being the scandalous “Extase (Ecstasy)” when she was just 18 years old. Hedy was born in 1914 and was married and divorced before leaving her homeland for the lights of tinseltown.

The Glamor

By the 1930’s Hollywood’s glamor machine was in full swing. The ‘Studio system’ was churning out hundreds of movies every month and if you wanted to be a star, you played by their rules. The studio was not only where you worked but it was your life. They told you how to look, where to go to be seen and with whom. You were expected to appear in as many films per year as possible. You would have a seven year contract to which the studio owned you as their property and if they made you into a star, they would go to any length to keep you a star. This often meant being seen on arranged dates or they would give the stars strict diets to adhere to.

Hollywood was not for the faint at heart. You had to follow the studios every directive and that included the casting couch. Directors, producers and those in charge would make women sleep with them or give special favors in order to get a part. This practice remained a well known fact and was allowed to happen until very recently.

More Stars than there are in Heaven

MGM (Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer) was one of the biggest and most successful of all the movie studios in Hollywood. It was a successful merger of Metro Pictures, Goldwyn Studios and Louis B. Mayer studios. At its head in the early years were Louis B. Mayer and Irving Thalberg as head of production. LB would proclaim to be the biggest studio and have the most stars. It was home to some of Hollywood’s biggest and brightest. In the 30’s it was where Clark Gable, Joan Crawford, Mickey Rooney, Myrna Loy, Jean Harlow, Greta Garbo, Spencer Tracy and Judy Garland gained fame. It was here, at MGM that Hedwig became Hedy Lamarr.

The Beauty that Changed the World

The world’s most beautiful woman, and one of the smartest!

She was billed as the most beautiful woman in the world. The world didn’t know it yet, but this woman was much more than that. With an IQ of 150+, she regularly invented items and took things apart to find out what made them work.

It was during WWII, at a party one evening with an equally intelligent composer, George Antheil, she set out to form a way to jam frequencies so that torpedo locations could not be found by the enemies. They invented frequency hopping communication and had a patent placed on the invention. This later formed the bases for wireless technology used today in bluetooth and WiFi. She grew tired of the Hollywood scene, playing the exotic femme fatale and having everyone think she was window dressing. She would say anyone can stand and look pretty, even stupid people.

Admired as the most beautiful woman in the world,
not for her intellect.

No one believed she was the inventor of such magnitude. Some claimed she stole the idea. Some said she was too pretty to be smart. Still others said she was a spy.

My #metoo story that I’ve never shared with anyone before!

Hollywood isn’t the only industry that uses or takes advantage of women or thinks a woman can’t think for herself. So many stories of how women are treated when they walk into an auto part store. Or when a woman owns a show car and enters it into shows, most of the guys ask her where her husband or boyfriend is so they can talk to him about it. Or when a customer asks for the manager and they are talking to her, a young lady. My Aunt was told she couldn’t be hired because she was of the age where she would be starting a family!

Me Too

Take Kim, she was in the only female student enrolled in a fire academy. One of the recruits pinned her on the ground and tried to kiss her as the others watched. She was able to knee him and get away, earning the respect of the other students. I have to say that should never happen. Ever. Being the only woman in a male dominated work environment, like Amber and Jamie and Tory. The girls were told to only do certain jobs and leave the hard or heavy work to the men. Talked about behind your back because you are a woman. Double standards.

My own story was as an 18 year old working at my first radio station and working closely with an older man who was showing me the ropes. He kissed me without provocation or wanting from my part.

Hedy Lamarr was paid less then her male counterparts. She wasn’t given the proper credit for her invention until decades later, and she died at 85, in 2000, without much money. It was only recently that people and Hollywood are taking notice of the beauty with the high IQ. Hedy Lamarr was inducted into the National Inventors Hall of Fame posthumously in 2014.

Your turn

What are some of the ways you have experienced or seen a situation that you were treated different because of your sex or you were taken advantage of and told you need to do or act or wear something in order to get a job or keep one? Tell your story in the comments.

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October 31, 2020December 8, 2020

How The Salem Witch Trials Continue

Why witch hunts could still happen today

The Salem Witch Trials of 1692, in what would become the state of Massachusetts, are world renowned. Everyone knows or at least has heard the story. Could it happen again? The hysteria? The events may change, but the mob mentality continues. Can we stop it?

It’s just a witch hunt

The church plays a powerful place in a community.

Let’s take a minute to look at what really went on in Colonial Mass. In 1689 war between France and American colonies sent refugees into the Massachusetts bay colony. Salem already had slim resources and splintered families. By 1692 tensions were high. In the strong Puritan area, it was believed the devil would give people powers to harm others. These people were mostly women. Older or single and different. They were called witches. The Salem witch hunts were about to begin.

First Minister

The Reverend Samuel Parris became the first ordained minister and was immediately disliked as a greedy, ridgid leader. It was the reverend’s own daughter Elizabeth and niece Abigail who started having what were called fits and could not control themselves. Other girls soon began acting the same way. These girls began to blame their behavior on witches. Names were demanded. 3 women who were poor and different from others. Two had claimed innocence and the third confessed to the devil giving her powers and claimed there were many more like her as well.

Twenty people died during the Salem Witch Hunt.

The Real Threat

The real threat was that there were people who were different and willing to change or challenge the way of life in the puritan village. The word of someone without evidence, can and is taken as fact. Luckily, the Salem Witch Trials didn’t last very long. But history shows us that hysteria leads to the mob mentality and it happens often.

World War II, German and Italian Americans were harassed and thought to be sympathizers with Stalin and Hitler. Even worse, after Japan bombed Pearl Harbor, Japanese Americans were held in camps. Americans were scared of those different than us, even if they were born here. Hitler was one that grew as a result of mass hysteria. The mob mentality made him a deadly leader.

It wasn’t long before another witch hunt took place here in America. In the 1950’s Senator McCarthy began what has become “The Red Scare” finding communists or those who joined the communist party. This action caused many to lose their jobs and split friendships as people were asked once again to name names.

“Drinking the Kool-aid”

The sign welcomes the unsuspecting
sheep to Jonestown. (photo-jurist.com)

In the 1970’s people followed Jim Jones, the term Drinking the kool-aid is from his when he talked people into killing themselves, by drinking poison kool-aid. The expression is used for when people blindly believe anything they are told as the truth. In the ’90s David Koresh in Texas became the name to follow.

Think it can’t happen again?

Questions about a persons politics or personal political beliefs. It happens all the time. That’s the thing about mob mentality. Otherwise educated, reasonably responsible people follow a slick campaign or believed injustice or made up news. They call people with a different opinion names. Look at both political parties. The Democrats and the Republicans, both have the party faithful who will go along with and even try to persuade others to follow as well. It may not be a cult or as dangerous as other times and situations in history-but remember, in this sound bite society when most people believe the 5 second headline anyone can rise above the noise to gather followers and lead them astray.

The Facts and Freedoms

I look for facts. I base not on TV news, social media or what an online acquaintance may say. I don’t vote on party lines but on evidence of how a person has and may vote that best represents my view and values. In recent years, the girls from Salem have been thought to have eaten fungus that caused muscle spasms and vomiting and hallucinations.

Charlatans, haters, rioters, movements, snakes, conspiracies, witches. A few causing mass hysteria and lost lives. Real or imagined, it can and will happen again. A Witch Hunt. The Salem Witch trials. Don’t be a follower and go with the flow.

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October 11, 2020October 11, 2020

You’ve Always Had the Power

The Power of Positive Thinking

Long before the book and movie The Secret (Rhonda Byrne) came out in 1997, Wallace D. Wattles and James Allen wrote, at the turn of the 20th century, books that told of the power of the mind and how to use it.

As A Man Thinketh by Allen and The Science of Getting Rich by Wattles tell of how, by using your mind, you can create or change your life.

New teachers

Today, there are all sorts of thought teachers and leaders. Some are straight forward and some may be a bit more “out there”, but if you keep an open mind, you are sure to find someone to whom you connect and resonate with. So many speakers, authors, teachers, preachers. Some of my favorites have been Les Brown, Dr. Catherine Ponder, Florence Scovel Shinn(The Game Of Life and How To Play It), Bob Proctor and Louise Hayes. The books and teachings of these and many more live on to reach generations to change their thoughts.

Motivation

Some motivational speakers try to get you to realize only you can motivate yourself. If you want to change, you are the only one who will do it, and only when you are ready. People like Mel Robbins, Lisa Nichols and Tony Robbins are paid handsomely to try to get you out of your comfort level. All are really saying the same thing, maybe in different ways. You have to hear the same thing or study the same thing over and over, many many times before it become a habit or true for you. Sometimes, hearing the same thing, but said by someone else will trigger you to remember or change. Lisa said when she was working toward her goal as a speaker, she was working a job, but called it funding the dream.

Power to Change

Just as you have the power to decide if you want to get out of bed in the morning, you also have the power to change the trajectory of your life. Why is it that we can tell ourselves once or twice we can’t do something or are not good enough and believe it, yet it takes many, many times telling ourselves yes, we can do it before we believe? Yes, it’s nice to have someone in your corner, someone who has confidence in you, but it’s your choices that ultimately move you into action.

Feelings

Think back over your own history of the “wins” in your life. The times that you have gotten what you wanted. In order to help speed the process of knowing you can do and create and be anything you want is to feel it. Remember the feeling of getting that new bike or job you wanted. Your wedding day. The feeling is what makes it real. You knew the color you wanted, the style. That feeling of knowing what you want and getting it is what is real. The power of believing in yourself is the most important and powerful in the world.

Confidence

Confidence grows when you do something you put off, or that you don’t think you can do, but do it anyway. Each time building yourself up. When I feel like I failed, I tell myself that I can do it, I have in the past and will again. Like Lisa Nichols, I am funding my dream by currently working for someone else until I am ready to make it happen.

LOA

The Law of Attraction may seem to you like a bunch of mumbo jumbo, voodoo, crazy new age stuff. But when you think about it, God gave us free will, that we may think for ourselves. You can think your way to changing your life. As Napoleon Hill says, what you think about most, you bring about. If you think about lack and poverty, that is what you will see. What dream are you working on? Or what is it that you think you need an extra push on? Who is your favorite speaker or author you enjoy listening to?

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October 7, 2020December 21, 2020

The Emerald City, Wizard or Man?

“You’ve always had the power, my dear”

Remember how excited the four traveling companions were when they first set eyes on the beautiful, shiny Emerald City? Dorothy, the Tin Man, the Cowardly Lion and Scarecrow all thought it must be the most wonderful, magical place. They couldn’t wait to run to see all it beheld behind the beautiful facade. It was magical from afar. Would it be just as magical up close?

Things are not always what they appear to be

The man behind the curtain in the Emerald city

At first glance, beauty and newness can be overwhelming. Remember a time when you were so excited you could hardly wait? The anticipation grew as the day approached. You get what you were waiting for or you finally meet that person who seemed so genuine. And then, it’s kind of a let down.

Like the visitors to Oz, all is not as it seems. The Emerald City was indeed beautiful, but was it magical? Dorothy needed guidance and wisdom. She was after all far from home, she needed to find her way back. What she received instead was a man pretending to have the answers, hiding behind not only a literal curtain, but of what others thought him to be. A great and powerful wizard. Dorothy thought seeing the wizard would solve her problem and she would be sent home. Then she and her traveling companions were given a nearly impossible task.

Treasures

Though the Emerald City did hold treasures, they were the kind you take with you in a different way.
That horse of a different color? Unique and unusual? An everyday occurance in Oz. That you can be anyone you want: The doorman, taxidriver, wizard and Professor Marvel, all the same person. You don’t have to limit yourself or pretend to be someone you’re not. That true friends stick together, and that we all have inner strength.

Strength

Like our friends from Oz found out, it won’t always be easy. You will most likely run into obstacles or people who don’t want you to succeed. They may even go out of their way to cause you to think you can’t do something. Dorothy was almost stopped by fear, by thinking she wasn’t smart enough or too young, to figure it out.
Because Dorothy found strength, courage and flexibility to see beyond what is at face value that enabled her to fight the witch and carry on to push past her comfort zone.

You’ve heard the saying, It’s not the destination, it’s the journey along the way. The road to get there should be just as thrilling. Take time to see all that is around you. Stop and smell the roses, only maybe skip smelling the poppies. Life is about the people you meet and lessons you learn. In trying times, try to remember you are growing through it.

Home

As Dorothy watched her new friends receive a heart, a brain and courage, she realized there wasn’t anything in the wizard’s bag for her. It was at that, she knew these people here in her dream, represented the strength she already possessed. She had to help herself. She knew the real strength and power lie within believing in herself.

As Glinda the Good Witch told her, “You’ve always had the power, my dear”! Drop a comment below of what you learned from this most classic MGM movie or what ways you have found your courage to really be you! How many times have you watched The Wizard of Oz? Was the Emerald City as spectacular as you thought?

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October 1, 2020October 14, 2020

Every Scar Tells A Story

What does your story say?

Do you have a physical or emotional scar? Imagine you are at your sink washing dishes. You face a window overlooking the sprawling backyard. Glancing out seeing a flash of red, think nothing of it. Continuing washing you realize your three young children are playing in the backyard, and your husband is showing his visiting uncle how the new industrial size riding lawn mower works. As the dish drops and shatters as it hits the floor, you run outside to the mower as fast as you can. The next few days a blur as you are in and out of the hospital room with your youngest daughter, a 2 year old. At least this is what my mother recalls. This is not my story. It is my scar, but not my story.

Cold and dark

It was dark under that heavy piece of cold steel. I was scared. I heard screaming. This would be my story, if I remembered it. Thank God for not remembering ANY of it. I do sometimes think I recall the sound of my bones hitting the under blade. Maybe that is part of the emotional scar. I don’t have a story to tell, I have my mother’s story and hers alone. My father refuses to speak about it. I haven’t spoke to him at all in years. He is a coward, and no not because he feels bad about it. He still has that mower and displayed it as a trophy recently. Another part of the emotional scar? Maybe.

Physical

Let’s fast forward to today. My lasting impressions of this summer day so long ago:

Left hip long, thick scar, notice the dent where the chunk of skin is missing.

From just past the middle of my back at the spine, going along the left side of the hip and down toward the other side of my thigh. All along the left side of my body there are scars. One and two inch lengths along my arm, on the back of my head, and a thick one halfway across my knee. It truly is a miracle I was not cut in half or lost my leg in two places.

Miraculous

The true miracle is that I am even alive. I can walk and even had a natural childbirth! God is Good! I do now some 40 plus years later, have days where my hip hurts so bad I can’t stand for long or sit for long, but that is so minor to what could have been. At first I was surprised that this long after an old injury, one could have issues, but upon researching (something I love doing), I learned old scar tissue can continue to grow into bone and tighten and thus arthritis is also starting.

There are different types of scars. We all have them. Some are larger and more visible then others. Some you can’t even see, but there are still there. Hidden, ready to come back at you when you least expect it. Like a song or memory you thought you left in the past, it shows up to remind you it’s still there.

Dealing with the pain

The way each one of us deals with the emotional aspect is as similar as the physical scars on our body. Each one unique as we are. Is The act of what happened to me emotionally painful? Not as much as a bad relationship with a controlling, narcissistic person I am still trying to recover from and get back in touch with my free spirit. If you were in an abusive relationship, the emotional scars usually last longer then the physical ones.

Testimony

I think I have an amazing testimony. I am so blessed. Look at all the people God has used to share their stories with us. Our scars make us who we are. What we choose to do with our story is our choice. I used to hide them. I didn’t like wearing shorts. Bathing suits would be the long skirt kind. Now part of my healing journey was a tattoo cover up. I designed it to still show just a bit at one end (just over an inch). To me, it represents “I may have been ripped apart, but underneath, I am pure stone-strength. You will not break me”. As the flesh is pulled away, you see a vibrant slab of turquoise stone. Turquoise gems represent strength. Plus I have always loved the color!

Trauma

Do I deal with this like its a past trauma? I don’t think so. Some might say anger toward a man whom I have zero relationship with. I don’t know him, so I feel like you don’t miss what you don’t know. My journey has led me to being a lifelong seeker of truth. I knew from a young age I was here for something greater. I can walk and breath and am alive for a reason. God is my father and I will tell my story to all who will listen. What story do your scars tell?

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August 19, 2020November 5, 2020

Badass Women in History

Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History

On this anniversary month of the 100 years of women having the right to vote, I am finally publishing the women in history blog.

In 1976, Laurel Thatcher Ulrich wrote a little article about a Puritan funeral service. She included that sentence never realizing it would become almost an anthem for women. The article concluded that witches and women of ill repute would be remembered, but that those to whom were mothers and upstanding members of society would not.

Well Known Women

While All women are important, some of the better known women throughout history have left a mark on the consciousness of society. Starting with one of my all time favorites, Elizabeth Cady Stanton. It as Stanton, not Susan B. Anthony, who really started the women’s movement. It was in 1848 in Seneca Falls, NY when she came to be known for writing the Declaration of Sentiments for women for the first women’s rights convention. She began her interests with abolition and temperance, but soon focused her efforts on women’s rights or lack thereof. When she married her husband, she left out the phrase “to obey” feeling it was a partnership. You Go Girl! That, at the time, total badass move!

Fateful Meeting

It wasn’t until 1851 that Elizabeth met Susan B. Anthony and the two women formed an unstoppable force. They traveled the country giving speeches wherever they could. Since Elizabeth had 7 children throughout the years, it was up to Susan to do much of the travel. Both women died before seeing their years of hard work become a reality with the ratification of the 19th amendment.

Fly Girls

Even though Raymonde de Laroche in France was the first woman to fly solo, and Harriet Quimby was the first American female licensed pilot, it was Amelia Earhart who is well known as the first woman to pilot across the atlantic. Had she not followed her heart and determination, and had the ambition to do so, no one would know who she was. She didn’t let anyone stop her and she changed history.

First Ladies

A few of the most influential first ladies in U.S. history are Eleanor Roosevelt, first lady from 1933 to 1945. After President Roosevelt died, Eleanor was on the board of directors for the NAACP, helped form the United Nations and was instrumental in believing in FDR so he could run for elected office in the first place. Betty Ford was a major advocate for the Equal Rights Amendment and founder of the Betty Ford clinic. Dolley Madison wouldn’t leave the White House during the war of 1812 while it was being attacked until she could save as many items as possible ensuring historical significance.

Why it took 100 years for women to get the right to vote, comes down to fear. Man feared change.

The first woman to run for president, was a suffragette, named Victoria Woodhull, though she wasn’t yet 35 years old and couldn’t even vote! Shirley Chisholm, the first black woman elected to Congress, ran for President in 1972, as did Carol Moseley Braun in 2003.

Gloria Steinem and Bella Abzug help found the National Women’s Political Caucus. The League Of Women Voters, founded just 6 months before the 19th amendment was passed, to ensure the passage and continues today to be a bipartisan information and voter registration organization.

Queens

Cleopatra, queen of Egypt, was thought to have influenced Roman politics through her relationships with Caesar and Mark Antony, keeping Egypt an independent country. Queen Kristina of Sweden never married and never had a male advisor.

Mother of the Freedom Movement

What if Rosa Parks was well behaved and didn’t sit in the ‘whites only’ section of the bus? By doing so, she started a snowball of events that changed history. By not sitting at the back of the bus, she inspired thousands of people to make a change for the better. Harriet Tubman was an abolitionist and activist who escaped slavery and went on to rescue many more, and organized a network to do so.

“Each Person Must Live Their Life As A Model For Others”~Rosa Parks

Margaret Thatcher, Mother Teresa, Marie Curie, Pocahontas, Hillary Clinton, Alice Guy-Blanche, Hattie McDaniel, Mary Shelley, writer of Frankenstein, and thousands more all refusing to be complacent and accept that they should not do their own thing and stand out. History, despite most of it being written and narrated by men, does not belong to only men, but to all. Remember, women can do anything a man can do, backwards and in high heels. If girls can’t open a book and read about women and girls like themselves, how are they to know anything is possible?

Who are some of your favorite female warriors and badasses? Share in the comments and go be a leader!

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July 27, 2020July 28, 2020

Crime and Punishment

Or The Lack thereof in America today.

In other words, cause and effect

Dateline America 2020. If you lived 100 years ago and time traveled or were transported into the future, into 2020, your mind would be blown and you would think you were on a different planet. It would feel like the Twilight Zone. You might even question where you were and what is this lawless nation. 100 years ago people who commited a crime were arrested and would receive swift justice. No waiting for your court sentencing and certainly no waiting to go to prison. Prison.

It is not always through the perfect goodness of virtue that one obeys the law, but sometimes it is through fear of punishment~Saint Thomas Aquinas

You see, there was a time, not too long ago, that laws in this country were upheld. Crime and punishment went together. That if someone commited a crime, they would be arrested. People were scared to get caught and thrown in jail and that would be a big deterrent not to do a crime. Kill someone meant the death penalty, not waiting forever being taken care of with free meals and television, activities and college courses.

Soft on Crime

Very early this year I heard a true, but scary piece of news. There was a woman, lets call her Janelle. Janelle was single mother and worked at a bank in town. Each morning she would get the kids to school and head to work at the bank. One day she was getting her station ready when she looked up and saw a man shoving a note at her with one hand and a gun in the other. The armed robber demanded she give him $1100. Shaken, she gave him all she could gather.

Apprehended

About 2 blocks away, he was found counting the money as he said he was going to give back the overage. He said he was in his 70’s, his wife had died, his dog was sick, he was homeless living in his car and it was about to be repossessed. That is why he needed the money and only wanted that amount. Because of his sob story, he was let go with a small probationary period and a promise not to do it again.

Meanwhile, Janelle the single mother, was so upset and shaken, she cannot go back to working at the bank and is traumatized with PTSD and has a hard time taking care of her kids. Her life is turned upside down but this guy who freely chose to break the law walks free. There is no further thought about the victims!

It takes time to persuade men to do even what is for their own good~Thomas Jefferson

Changing times

When did the change start? Why did we stop holding people accountable for their actions? Part of it comes because we no longer teach our children right and wrong. Winning and losing. Give everyone who shows up an award. No longer having a first place winner. When my daughter was in first grade, the principle of the (private)school said a boy would not be punished for hitting another child because he was having a bad home life.. what?!

Law cannot persuade where it cannot punish~Alexander Hamilton

This is exactly how society is today, “well he was…oh they had a bad upbringing”. It is a choice to break the law and do wrong. Not everyone with a bad childhood chooses to go down the wrong path. Everyone has things they go through but don’t choose to do illegal activities. Choices create consequences.

Being so soft is not working out. I was working at a radio event and had the opportunity to speak at length to two police officers. They spoke of how crime is growing in juveniles and they are much more violent at a younger age. If there is no fear of punishment, why would they not do whatever they want? Who or what is to stop them?

Repeat offenders

Recidivism rates are on the rise. In the US, it is as high as 76.6%!! In Missouri it is 44% according to the MO Department of Corrections. 2 out of 3 are repeating crimes within 3 years of release. Recently I heard about a horrific killing in FL by three men who between them had 230 Felony arrests. yes, 230 FELONY ARRESTS!

Lately, prisoners and those in jail have been set free do to the Covid-19 pandemic. Some areas are not even taking to jail those that are caught. In CA, in one day, the same man was arrested 4 times and let go. 4 times! Why, because he knew nothing would be done so why not!

Ways to change

Crime and Punishment. Is it even a thing anymore? Do we even teach that choices come with consequences? Would in prison programs help? Community support? As most everything, I think it starts at home. Teaching our children right and wrong. After all, we are their first teachers. If not us, then whom?

Have you ever been a victim of a crime or have you been in jail or prison? Have you read Crime and Punishment? Leave a comment or thought. How would you go about change? Like and share to continue the conversation.

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